Christmas Eve!!!

Happy Christmas Eve y'all! Hope you're having a GREAT time!

I found a bunch of funny things I wanted to show you.
 Bumper stickers:

• Insanity: a small price to pay for sheer brilliance! 
• If at first you don't succeed, why bother? Your honor student will take care of it.
• ANKH if you Love Horus.
• Sanity is back-ordered. Sarcasm is in unlimited supply.
• I'm the English Teacher about whom your mother  warned you.
• You probably don't recognize me without the cape.
• WWJD?  Who wants Jelly Donuts!
• I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
• I poke badgers with spoons!
• Alcohol and calculus don't mix! Don't drink and derive!
• Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants.\
• An Apple a day keeps Windows away.
• This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.
• What would Gandalf do? 
• Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
• I'm Canadian. It's like being American, but without the gun.
• Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
• Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
• I used to have a handle on life, but it broke. 
• National Sarcasm Society. (Like we need your support)
• Department of Redundancy Department. 
• Don't make me mad. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
• I plan to live forever. So far, so good!
• Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.
• Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. 
• On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.
• On your mark, get set, go away!
• What would Scooby do? 
• I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.
• I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. (thanks to Kenneth Dockery)
• If you can read this, you're not the president. 
• I have a degree in Liberal Arts - do you want fries with that?
• Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and name streets after them.
• Do they ever shut up on your planet?
• I'm always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower. 
• Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
• Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
• Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.
• You - Off my planet.
• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
• If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
• First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, closed.
• In dog years, I'm dead!  
• South Korea's got Seoul! 
• I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
• You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.  
• What I really need are minions. 
• Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU'RE still an idiot. 

 I also have answering machines but I'm too laaaazy to post those right now so I'll do it later.